Sarri Gilman is a psychotherapist, author, and speaker and has over 35 years of experience as a marriage and family therapist. She also has decades of experience as a community worker starting organisations such as Cocoon House and One Childhood lasts a lifetime before deciding to focus totally on people's development. Her 2014 book ‘Transform Your Boundaries’ highlighted how acknowledging, setting and clearly articulating our boundaries can deepen our relationship with ourselves. Sarri is widely regarded as a leading world expert on boundaries so it was an absolute honour to have her own to talk about her area of expertise. So what exactly are boundaries? Sarri describes it simply as our yeses and our nos. What we feel comfortable doing and what we do not. So why are we talking about boundaries? Well, Sarri tells me that as a psychotherapist, she believes that boundaries are at the heart of why most people end up in therapy. These can be boundaries between ourselves and our partners, our parents or guardians, our jobs and even our use of technology. I have benefited hugely from Sarri’s work and I am delighted I can share this conversation with you.

This week our guest is Lee Teresa Moore who is an advocate for raising awareness about dissociative disorders and complex PTSD. We are also joined by her lovely partner Paul. In this podcast, Lee discusses some of the major events in her life that now, can be viewed retrospectively as trauma resurfacing. As our previous guest Dr. Mike Lloyd mentioned in our conversation a few months ago, some brains in a response to incredibly shocking and traumatic events can eradicate the event or events from conscious memory or create several personalities to help process the trauma. This episode hopes to shed light on what it is like for someone in this position, such as Lee who after decades of misdiagnosis was diagnosed with dissociative amnesia several years ago. We also hear from her partner, Paul on the challenges of this condition as someone on the outside looking in. This may be a difficult listen for some as harrowing events are mentioned.

Milo O’Shea had a very significant impact on my development in my teenage years and beyond. He was a unique figure in my secondary school who never shied away from showing his students how he really felt. This wasn’t always pretty but it was human. This aspect of humanity is crucial to the growth of young people, in my opinion. Milo was one of the few teachers in my life that really demonstrated an interest in the student’s development, as a person – not just academically. I specifically remember him telling my class one day that it will be our attitude and perspective ‘out there’ that will dictate our experience of life rather than the results of upcoming exams. As the years have passed by, these words have never veered too far away from my regular thought rotation. I wanted to record a conversation with him to talk about how he cultivated that perspective in himself, the need for deep internal questioning, how he views teaching, the power of music and poetry to evoke inspiration and much more. This was a special chat for me and I’m very grateful he agreed to come on.

Matthew Thompson is an entrepreneur, host of two podcasts, a father, a husband and a friend. You might remember our interview last year with Dr Steve Ilardi, who is the author of the mega-famous book “The Depression Cure, the 6 step programme to beat depression without drugs- Well, Dr Steve linked myself and Matt together and since then I’ve learned a lot from him. This is a long conversation but I truly believe there’s so much in it. In this podcast, we cover dopamine (Matt has recently interviewed Dopamine expert Dr Anna Lembke), what is in our control and what is not and how delineating this is huge for our mental health. We discuss non-violent communication. We also talk about the need for compassion and confrontation in our relationships and the lifelong work of learning the different combinations of the two we need for the situations we find ourselves in (yes, we allude to the recent Will Smith/ Chris Rick incident).

Jill Vialet is the founder of Playworks, the leading American non-profit leveraging the power of safe, fun, and healthy play at school every day. Playworks creates a place for every kid on the playground to feel included, be active, and build valuable social and emotional skills. Playworks partners with schools, districts, and after-school programs to provide a service or mix of services including on-site coaches, professional training for school staff who support recess, and consultative partnerships. In this conversation, Jill informs us of the significance of play for children, adolescents and adults and its relationship to a more engaged, communicative society. I asked Jill on as I have been thinking about the lack of play and fun in our jam-packed lives.

Our recent conversation with Valentina Auliso is not the easiest to concisely describe. Perhaps the best way is to indirectly start with the fact that myself and Seb see and experience the world quite differently. This can be difficult for both of us but I also think it helps us generate an intriguing conversation for a wider group of people. Seb is often sceptical of people who work in the world of things that can’t be measured whereas I am closer to a default ‘could be because of the experiences I’ve had that can’t be bluntly explained or measured. Enter Valentina, a woman who is incredibly passionate about the world of energetic healing. She combines her experience with yoga and chi kung, which is a Korean system using breathing, movement and meditation to aid the mind, body and spirit.

Elisa and I first bonded over our love of Gabor Mate. Yes, it happened like that. I met her during my summer trip to Italy and have kept in touch ever since. I wanted to have her on the podcast to discuss the practice of yoga’s potential to calm our nervous system and help us reduce the impact trauma might have on our life. Trauma is a heavy, complicated and multi-faceted concept but amongst top trauma experts in the world such as Bessel Van De Kolk, Gabor Mate, Janina Fisher, and Steven Porges to name a few; trauma is something pretty much every human deals with both physically and mentally on some level. In this podcast, we talk a bit about trauma but really, we need a whole series of podcasts to unpack trauma and so we hope that this podcast opened you up to a new understanding of trauma and how often trauma lies in the body.

Before I started recording this powerful conversation Rosaleen McDonagh, she rightly bashed me for not reading her book ‘Unsettled’ which was published last year. I can now say that I have read it and I’m blown away. Commenting on a piece of work like this is so hard because so often I was left speechless but the manner in which she describes the injustices she experienced as a traveller woman with cerebral palsy is profound, even more profound is her pride and love of herself and her family and community. I can’t think of a book that forced me to pause and contemplate after each chapter quite like this.

When I first moved to Belfast, my housemate mentioned The Belfast Friendship Club to me. He told me this club hosted a weekly event where the sole purpose was the connection with other people in the room. No registration fee, no data collecting – just your first name and where you are from and you’re away. I finally got to visit The Belfast Friendship Club a few months ago and I was struck by how ‘exactly what it says on the tin’ the experience was. A room of people from all over the world, from a wide range of diverse backgrounds who are all currently living in Belfast looking to connect over tea and coffee. In 2022, such a setup is beyond rare.

Dr Mike Lloyd is a Clinical Psychologist, specialising in dissociative disorders and trauma. He is also the Chairman of the Complex Trauma and Dissociation Clinic based in Cheshire As well as running this clinic, Mike recently left his NHS post in a community adult mental health team in Cheshire to begin work as a consultant for the Ministry of Defence, offering mental health support to serving military personnel. Prior to this, Mike spent five years working in child & adolescent / paediatric mental health. He is also a comic book fan, lover of wrestling and Ru Paul’s Drag race and expressing his playful side. You can hear the passion, care and curiosity coming from Mike from the first minute of this podcast. It was an absolute joy to chat with him about dissociative identity disorder (DID) which was formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder.

Florence Scialom is a mother, speaker of Dutch as a second language (Not many of those out there) and Communications and Events Manager for the organisation Network of Well-being Flo’s core passions lie in connecting people and communities, and supporting others to make a positive difference in their own lives and in the wider world. In this podcast, we talk about compassion and its relationship to our well-being and our society’s well-being. We cover self-compassion, compassion for others and distinguish the difference between empathy and compassion. We discuss the radical nature of compassion in a world that is congested with judgment, othering and dehumanising.

We start this year with the wonderful guest that is Dr Cassie McVeigh. Cassie is a mother of 4, a freshwater swimmer, and an experienced female GP. Originally from Co. Fermanagh, she went to Trinity and UCD and undertook her GP specialist training in Sligo. She has a special interest in women's health issues and has undertaken additional training in menopause care. This podcast provides a lot of information on menopause which is rarely spoken about in the public domain. Cassie talks about the range of symptoms that can come along with menopause, ways in which symptoms can be reduced along with much more. In 2019, Seb and I started this project with the aim of de-stigmatising discussions that are on our minds but often neglected in conversation. In 2022, we are committed as ever to this aim.

Janette Beetham is the Founding Director of Right Resources - an organization striving for a thriving and productive neurodiverse workforce. Having struggled with certain tasks without knowing why Janette discovered she had dyslexia in her 30’s. This inspired her to learn more about the neurodivergent world and to support those with neurodivergent conditions (I.e. those that process information differently compared to the neurotypical population). This conversation covers a brief definition of the most common neurodivergent conditions before discussing why many go undiagnosed and why many do not inform their employers about their condition. We then move on to the crucial work that Janette and Right Resources are doing regarding neurodiversity in the workforce, including the training and accreditation programme titled Dyslexia Champions.

Rakesh Rootsman Rak is an activist, reggae DJ and bona fide permaculture expert. This conversation covers Rakesh’s definition of permaculture and how we might go about implementing it as part of our daily lives. At its essence, permaculture is a holistic approach to living in accordance with our needs and I’m sure by now, you guys know I’m pulled by holistic perspectives. This podcast is a light intro into a way of living that is becoming more and more popular as people search for ways their deeper needs can be met. I had the pleasure of taking part in one of Rakesh’s workshops two years ago and it was a special, special time- a true bonding experience that went far beyond horticulture tips.

For thirty years he was a Scottish police officer and Chief Investigator specialising in criminal investigation, drug investigation, training and crime prevention. For the last eight years of his policing career, he was a Chief Inspector and a key member of the Scottish Violence Reduction Unit. Respected across the world for its work in reducing violence and has taken this mantra to tackle domestic and sexual violence.

Frank Mullane MBE set up AAFDA in 2008 following the murders of his sister Julia and nephew William in 2003. Frank helped ensure Domestic Homicide Reviews (DHRs) became law and helped develop the Home Office DHR Guidance. He is a Home Office appointed reader of DHRs and a member of the national Victims’ Panel chaired by the Justice Minister. He was on the assessment panel for the recruitment of the first-ever (designated) Domestic Abuse Commissioner and is a published author on the subject of domestic homicide.

This week we talk to Jim’s good friend, Darragh Potts about male pattern baldness and hair transplants. Darragh started to notice his hair loss in his early twenties and by his mid-twenties, he had got a hair transplant! Darragh was really open about the insecurities caused by hair loss and talks us through the hair transplant procedure, step by step. This podcast is a really valuable source of information for anyone struggling with their hair loss, as I am (Seb speaking), so please pass it on to anyone who might find it useful.

Adam Starr. What a man. I know this person means a lot to Seb and me. Our first guest to appear 3 times on the podcast and if we’re lucky we’ll get a 4th next year.

Adam guides us towards a perspective that can open us up. When I say this I mean, your mind may disagree with some of the ideas he’s putting forward and that’s absolutely fine. But I’m confident that will facilitate an internal dialogue that has the potential to give you more peace in your life. We cover having difficult conversations, the heavily weighted concept of advice as well as the difficulty of working in a job that doesn’t satisfy you. Adam’s response here is perhaps one of the most crucial few mins we’ve had in our 75 episodes to date.

This week we talk to Dolapo, Seb’s old school friend about cultural heritage and racism in the US and U.K. Dolapo explains how pride in his Nigerian heritage has helped him feel centred and given him a sense of belonging amongst all the turmoil. We talk about the realities of life as a Black man and what can be done to improve the current situation and that of the future!

Dr Kailas Roberts is a psychiatrist with over ten years of experience in the field of old-age psychiatry. His recent book ‘Mind Your Brain’ takes a deep look at what we know concerning Dementia. Dr Roberts stresses the importance of exercise to brain health, minimising alcohol and sugar consumption in order to prevent or delay the onset of this debilitating condition. We also talk about the impact dementia can have on loved ones and carers who have people with dementia in their lives.