Futility of Comparison
I often find myself drawing comparisons with people I admire, they are never favourable. I know I am not alone in the glorious waste of time as my friends regularly tell me they feel down because they compared themselves to fill in the blank. I know this is a pointless exercise, my friends do too and yet we can’t stop ourselves. We see these people as the standard and though we know that we are miles behind on the same journey we get upset because we have not yet arrived at the same destination. Subconsciously, however, we know that everybody’s journey is intrinsically unique and whilst we may want to end up at the same destination we will have to find our own path. If we are to draw true comparisons then we must take personal circumstance and history into account and not just the final result.
The other problem with comparisons is that they are too easily manipulated. You can easily make yourself come out as the ‘winner’ or ‘loser’ depending on who you compare yourself to. Where is the value in that? People often compliment me on my Spanish and I am quick to dismiss their kind comments because, whilst I understand that to a monolinguist I may appear fluent I know I’m not fooling any Spaniards. I suppose the only comparisons that are of any worth are with ourselves but they are often the most arduous because they require a level of brutal honesty that many of us are not comfortable with.
Perhaps more interesting is the reason behind the comparison. Why do we love to compare? I think because it’s a way to measure our success in a highly competitive status crazed culture. We have become obsessed with external indicators for ‘success’ and, therefore, we draw comparisons which are really pissing contests. Who has the better car? Are you renting or have you bought a house? What clothes do you wear? How many holidays can you afford? It’s easy to compare because you can find the answers to all these questions by scrolling through the Instagram page of your elected competitor. These external indicators have become so important to us that they are no longer bi-products of success but seen as success itself. Decades ago one achieved infamy through excellence and as a result younger generations also yearned to be excellent. Excellence in your chosen field was success. Nowadays, you can be famous for being famous. Fame is success. The result is that many of us, myself included, can fall into the trap of seeking fame and status rather than working towards excellence. We long for the gratification of others rather than an internal contentment which is why when we finally buy the shiny new car we feel empty after the initial dopamine hit, generated by the influx of Instagram likes, subsides.
I have compared our podcast numbers to some of the most successful podcasts home and abroad and am left feeling almost shameful. But when I compare our first few podcast episodes with our latest I am left with an overwhelming sense of pride because I can see how far we have come in a such short space of time. When I draw such internal comparisons, the numbers (external indictors) are no longer of any importance because the goal is excellence. The goal is to be the best interviewer possible and to create the best podcast we can and if the numbers look favourable then that is a lovely little bi-product of our hard work but nothing more.
In a world of Kim Kardashians I long to be more like Miyamoto Musashi. Ironic that I am ending a post about the futility of comparisons with a comparison… I know!
By Seb Siracusa
