Why I love Good Will Hunting

True love is wanting more for someone than they want from themselves. This is a paraphrase from a great J. Cole verse but the friends around Will (the main character) in this movie, particularly Chuckie demonstrate such admirable selfishness that I couldn’t avoid using that lyric to start off this piece. Of course, Chuckie wanted his best mate to be around him in the coming years but he believed that Will needed to be challenged in a way that he could not provide. One could ponder that he also knew that Will wouldn't comfortably leave for this challenge without his blessing - which he gives in the infamous "The best part of my day" scene.

It is lovely in theory but wanting the best for your loved one can often get in the way of maintaining the current relationship you have with them. I’ve often debated this in my own personal life, the degree to which my words and actions work towards the persistence of a situation I’m content with, rather than prioritising what might be best for the people I love. Perhaps Chuckie debated this before eventually concluding that it wasn’t about him, it was much bigger than him. That Will had the potential to change people’s lives in a way not many of us can and that Will needed to realise there was love for him outside of his tight knit bond with Chuckie and the boys.

Chuckie knowing this is one thing but being able to communicate this effectively to his friend is another. As I watch the scene where they drink a beer during their break in work, I see it in two parts. The first half shows Chuckie speaking in a language that Will is familiar with, devoid of depth encapsulated with the unemotional ‘that sucks’ when hearing about Will’s girlfriend leaving to California and the ‘probably make some nice bank though’ in an attempt to defend some of the jobs Will could attain.

We enter the second half of this scene as Will states that he wants to stay in Boston for the rest of his life. This hits Chuckie and spurs him onto a brutal, honest flow of expression so close to the bone that the precursor ‘Look, you’re my best friend so don’t take this the wrong way’ was deemed necessary. Chuckie, in a different vocal tone informs Will that he’d kill him if he stayed in Boston and noticing Will’s immediate resistance to this – he asks Will to look at the situation from his perspective. He tells Will that he’d do anything to have Will’s ‘lottery ticket’ as would everyone working at the construction site and that Will staying there is an insult to Chuck and co. I think this wakes Will up to the potentiality of the people he identifies so strongly with seeing him as different and that he could possibly be offending these people by remaining stagnant in fear. Probably the last thing he would ever want.

In this situation, I believe Chuck helped Will reach a truth that he knew deep down but was finding difficulty in reaching it himself. Maybe Chuckie used this scene as a test to see if Will was indeed planning on staying in Boston from a place a fear or if Will truly wanted to work in construction for the rest of his life. You can imagine if Will did indeed believe he should stay in Boston, going to the local for a few beers with the lads most nights, he probably would have had a different response than the wonderful 10 seconds of silence where he appears to be in deep contemplation before the scene ends (shout out to Gus Van Sant for that). I heard the metaphor recently that life is like hiking a mountain, you meet many people on the way that help you, make it more exciting and interesting, some stay with you longer than others but ultimately, the only common thread throughout the ascent is you. I could be painting Chuck in a far too halo-like light but maybe Chuck in this scene is telling Will he’ll always be there for him but he can’t help with the next stage of the climb. I can’t help but think many of us could do with a Chuck.

Chuckie’s well intentioned ‘push’ in contrast to Professor Lambeau’s approach with Will got me thinking about the line between helping someone or interfering in their life (playing God). Very controversial topic, I know. You hear so often “I know what’s best for my son/daughter/parent…..” the list goes on. But do you? How I see Chuckie and Lambeau differ in their attempt to help Will is their reaction to Will’s process. Will is obviously resistant to Lambeau’s help in terms of job opportunities but Lambeau is unwilling to accept that Will might need time to learn about what he really wants from life. He is unwilling to truly listen to him. Lambeau almost views this vital process as a waste of time. Chuckie on the other hand does not view the world in a binary manner of success and failure and after the ‘best part of my day’ scene, we see no pressure placed on Will from Chuckie or the boys. They scrape together a car for Will to expand his possibilities however, there’s no attempt to provide unsolicited advice. The Taoist principle of non-obstruction or non-interference comes to mind. Chuckie and the boys are trying to get out the way whereas Lambeau is the exact opposite. (Note for later that Lambeau insists to Dr Sean that “I am who I am today because I was pushed”).

Another touching takeaway from this film is the character of Dr Sean (Robin Williams) and his approach towards Will. I'm currently reading Celeste Headlee's 'We need to talk' and she references our need to connect to someone's heart before we can hope to change their opinion or behaviour and Good Will Hunting reflects this wonderfully. (Note this emphasis on the heart). Will, as many of us, is reluctant to open up and uses his vast external knowledge as a defence mechanism for many of his interactions. Understanding this early on, Dr Sean expresses himself in a raw manner, displaying vulnerability and strength simultaneously with Will. Candidly he tells Will that knowledge is nothing without self-knowledge, that the difference between not trying and failing is experience- arguably our biggest portal for true growth.

I’m captivated by the connection between two men from South Boston, both afraid of rolling the dice of life (Dr Sean reluctant to immerse himself fully into the world after his wife’s death and Will struggling to overcome intimacy/abandonment issues developed in a havoc and loveless childhood). They both appear to be trapped in a cycle of fearful ‘what ifs.  For Will – what if she finds out who I really am and doesn’t like me? What if I pick the wrong job? And Dr Sean’s more subtle, what if I feel that loss again? Paralysed by life’s uncertainty rather than basking in it. In my most recent viewings of this movie (I’ve watched it A LOT) this overcoming of fear has helped a lot with my own fears regarding my future, frequently leaning towards the restrictive side of the love/fear dichotomy.

I now turn to Dr. Sean’s exchanges with Professor Gerald Lambeau. This is quite a relatable relationship in many regards, two friends meeting again after a period apart - one appearing to fulfil what society had expected from him and one who may have taken a few priceless left turns. There's a magical scene towards the end of the film where Lambeau is adamant on projecting his idea of success onto Will while Dr Sean is trying to explain that Will could have entirely different desires. Lambeau, living his life by the motto that it is not okay with being a failure without interrogating why something can be considered a success or a failure has appeared to leave him wanting. What exactly? Perhaps a deeper connection to himself and life.

A man who was very conscious of perceived intelligence and success (“you were smarter than me then and you're smarter than me now so don't blame me how your life ended up") is a living example of the long term pain and suffering using external markers for evaluating one’s life can cause. Will’s existence provokes strong jealously in him. Lambeau struggles to connect with people throughout the movie and attempts to use his status to seduce younger female students on two occasions. He also attempts to demean Sean to make him feel better about his obvious personal difficulties by postulating that Sean might be angry at him “for being successful, for being what you (Sean) could have been”. His success in the external world has brought him no closer to understanding his fraught relationship with peripheral gratification, why it is never enough or examining why he needs to criticise others to temporarily glaze over his own dismay.

Dr Sean’s rebuttal to the above-mentioned comment helped me countless times over the last few years - "you think I’m a failure! I know who I am and I’m proud of what I do. It was a conscious choice (his path). I didn't fuck up". Sean asks him why he is so afraid of failure and Lambeau can only make a joke about his Field’s medal. Sean sees what Lambeau does to other people and doesn’t want this for Will - “I won’t see you make him feel like a failure too”.

Just last summer this really did come in handy for me as I was finishing my master thesis and talking to one of fellow students, who informed me that she had been offered a cool sounding job in a cool country and after I wished her the best, I was walking down the stairs with my mind racing with thoughts of "wait, should I be doing what she's doing?". I shouldn't have. But my mind often drops into patterns of self-critique for not fulfilling what is expected of me and not reaching my ‘potential' – whatever that means (which a fantastic scene in Blue Valentine dissects and I may have to write something on). Dr Sean became a teacher at a community college because he consciously chose to and as wild as that may sound, it's incredibly inspiring. I'm sure there was pressure on him, especially considering his roommate’s (Lambeau) career trajectory, to aim for something 'higher' or to strive for more accepted markers for perceived success but because of his self-knowledge and willingness to listen to his heart, he understands the value of Will cultivating these attributes. So, if (or when, as is life) things don’t work out the way we want them to- at least we trusted ourselves. That’s as good as a consolation we can get.

To return to the Southie boys, towards the end, Dr Sean’s succinctly helps Will with his future doubts by telling him what he probably told himself 20 years previously - "listen to your heart kid and you'll be alright". I know many people don't have the luxury to listen to their hearts in terms of job preferences (particularly considering the recession we are all bracing for) but it's a message that can be applied across the board in one’s life. Looking at how the concept of success as identity consumes the character of Lambeau and its effects on how he lives, treats those around him, perhaps Damon and Affleck (the scriptwriters) were attempting to show the importance of listening to and expressing ourselves authentically and the potential damage not doing so can have on our relationships (with ourselves and others) and our overall quality of life. I think we could do a lot worse than to digest this perhaps overstated but underlived food for thought, or maybe I should say food for less thought, more heart.

“To hear and heed that inner voice — the sound-minded, pure-hearted critical thinking unmuffled by the shriek of self-righteousness, unlulled by herd mentality, unsullied by external manipulation or internal self-delusion — is perhaps the most consistent challenge we face throughout our lives, playing out in myriad forms across every realm of existence.” – Hermann Hesse

By Jim O’Connell