The comfort zone is growth’s silent killer
This year I promised myself that I would start Jiu-Jitsu, yoga and just generally get into a good routine for my mental and physical state. I have been speaking about Jiu-Jitsu and yoga for almost over a year now and this week I will finally start and to tell the truth I’m pretty nervous. I am looking forward to learning something completely new and I am almost certain that I will love it…I have been a fan ever since I started listening to Joe Rogan on the JRE and watched the UFC for the first time. What I am dreading is that new-kid-on-the-block feeling and having to introduce myself and ingratiate myself to an already established community.
It’s a stupid source of anxiety because it’s such a fleeting moment and before you know it you are one of the group and you laugh at the fact you were ever nervous in the first place. In general, I am a fairly confident guy although I have my hang-ups like everyone else but perhaps there’s more to this than just the anxiety caused by being the new guy. In a podcast recorded with Jim we spoke about the relationship between ambition and fear of failure and how they are so delicately intertwined, and then it hit me. I am nervous and have this “cba” feeling about being the new guy but if I am being honest the real reason I have put off starting something new is fear of failure. The comfort zone is just that…comfortable! I moved out to Madrid almost 2 years ago now and I feel comfortable. I have found myself a fantastic group of friends and am comfortable speaking Spanish 24/7 and I feel comfortable in my job. I am not failing at anything right now and that’s a lovely place to be in but I can also feel myself getting complacent and maybe even cocky. I speak good Spanish but my learning has plateaued in the last 6 months and I know I should be making more of an active effort if I really want to speak with full fluency. In that same period I have put on some weight and lost general fitness…I have been in a bit of a funk and it’s about time that stopped.
The fear of failure can be so debilitating and my fear was certainly warranted. I am definitely going to to get tapped out by some guy strangling me or twisting my ankle with no remorse. That’s only normal for this is something completely new to me so how could I possibly expect a different outcome? Coming to terms with the fact that initially all I will do is fail was actually liberating because it relieved the pressure.
I also think being humbled by a man or woman making me tap frantically as they contort my body into ungodly positions will be good for my ego and my hunger to learn. I think we can all presume we have life sussed from time to time, especially when we are comfortable but it’s important to remember that you can always learn and improve and that humility can be hard to come by so it is good to get it drummed into you every now and again. I have also found that when I suck at something it sparks up that flame again and that hunger to learn feels tangible, but it ignites that flame in all my pursuits; new and old. I try to constantly adopt “black-belt thinking” which is a humility that comes with mastery of a particular field. Once you get really good at something you realise there is so much more to learn. For example, when people who don’t speak multiple languages hear me speak Spanish they assume I speak perfectly because to them it would appear as though I speak with a perfect accent, speed and no mistakes. The obvious rebuttal is how would they know when they don’t speak Spanish? I know that there is a long way to go before I reach the same level of fluency as I have with English and that is “black-belt thinking”.
You will hear how I get on with Jiu-Jitsu and yoga in future podcast but for now I am pleased that I have identified the real culprit for my stunt in personal growth and have overcome it. I only hope that, if needs be, you come to the same realisation and don’t allow growth’s silent killer to stop you from growing and succeeding in your future endeavours.
By Seb Siracusa
