#44: Kadam Adam Starr - Love, Hate, Thoughts, Anxiety
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Have you ever gone through a difficult moment in your life? Depression, abuse, loss — these are awful and unfortunate things some of us have to deal with. In these cases, it’s not easy to know what to do to regain control of our emotions and reactions. Remember that you’re not alone on this journey. Know that things can and will get better.
In this episode, Jim and Seb speak with a good friend of the podcast, Buddhist teacher Kadam Adam Starr. We discuss our relationship with our thoughts, why we can so easily associate with them (and the harm that can cause), the Buddhist perspective on love as well as the nature of real success. Adam’s kind voice is exactly what we need during this lockdown as he reminds us of simple yet crucial practices that can improve our lives significantly. We all want to connect with ourselves, others and life overall but as Adam points out; we often unconsciously get in our own way of this. Letting go often connotes weakness in the West but this podcast may change your grasp on certain perspectives. Please let us know what you think and thank you for listening!
Here are 3 reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
Learn about a somewhat alternative view on love and how we can cultivate it.
Hear Adam explain our association with our thoughts in an accessible, fruitful manner.
If you are struggling and feeling like life isn’t going your way, Adam’s words on success will remind you what needs to take priority.
5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode
“We base our whole sense of identity around these very familiar thoughts and feelings such as anxiety, depression.. largely unconsciously. But this is a limited sense of self. We all have stillness within.”
“Meditation is all about extracting insight from experience. When I let go, there is a naturally abiding peace.”
“Real success is what you have in your heart, not what you have outside.”
“We can always feel a connection, closeness and good relationship with others if we choose to love, if we choose to improve that love in our hearts.”
“About 95% of our thoughts are repetitive. Roughly 80% of our thoughts are negative. We need to understand these thoughts do not define us. Meditation allows us to drop out of this affiliation with our thoughts and connect with a deeper truth within,”
Episode Highlights
What is love?
● Many of us are familiar with heartbreak, but have we subsequently changed our idea of love as a consequence? Adam says love isn’t what you find in loveable people, it’s a choice. By focusing on the good qualities of others while also acknowledging that we are all imperfect in an imperfect world, we can gain a deeper understanding that love is cultivated within us, and requires conscious effort.
● This may sound odd but opening up to the idea that love is within us and doesn’t require a partner to ignite it can change our approach to life. We have the capability of igniting this love ourselves, which is empowering.
Who are you? What are you at your deepest core?
● Adam insists that when we quiet the mind, let go of our thoughts, we are peaceful, loving and calm at our core. He believes that our anxiety and beliefs that we are not loving at our core stem from our unconscious pattern of following and associating with our thoughts, which are, on average 80% negative and 95% repetitive.
Relationship between our morals, values and thoughts
● Seb and Adam open up an interesting conversation on how our values relate to our thoughts and vice versa. The endpoint of this left Seb content and speechless (which rarely happens).
Lockdown tarnishing our idea of our future
● Adam reminds us that external, material success will not give us peace of mind. Our plans for the future are exactly that, just plans. Of course, we must have goals in our life, however, a key aspect of this is also accepting when life doesn’t work out exactly the way you planned. Being able to loosen the grip on the reality you desire is a practice. The whole world’s idea of a future has been flipped upside down but it is our reaction to this that will determine our state of mind. Adam helps us reassess our ability to react here).
Enjoy this Podcast?
We appreciate Josh coming on and sharing his story with us. It was touching to hear him speak so candidly about his experience and we hope this helps listeners on their journey, at whatever stage they are on. If you appreciate what we are trying to do with today’s episode and our overall project of The Earthly Delights Podcast, then hit subscribe and share it with your friends!
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To removing stigma,
Jim and Seb
