#38: Dr James Cantor - Understanding Pedophilia
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In this episode, Dr James Cantor articulately and eloquently dismantles many of the incorrect and unhelpful beliefs surrounding Pedophilia common in the mainstream. He highlights the crucial difference between a Pedophile and a sex offender, how the science indicates that a sexual attraction towards children is a result of brain structure created pre-birth and how our avoidance our difficult conversations is making this issue worse. Dr James also shares some of the patterns he observes from his work as a therapist with paedophiles and how, as a society, we can reduce the possibility of paedophiles committing child molestation.
Here are 3 reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
What is the difference between a paedophile and a sex offender?
What do extensive brain scans tell us about the nature of paedophilia?
Why is our approach to paedophiles making the problem worse and how can we improve this?
5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode
“Pedophilia is not a synonym for child molestation. Paedophilia is a sexual orientation pattern. Not all paedophiles are child molesters. Just because someone is a paedophile does not mean that they are a child molester.”
“Really what we want to do, to prevent paedophiles from becoming child molesters is to make it as easy as possible for these people to come into therapists, get therapy, sex drive reducing medication with real real real confidentiality. If we want to actually help, we need to make is easier for these people to get help but what we are currently doing is making this practically impossible. ”
“People these days have no roles models for how to have a difficult conversation.”
“The majority of paedophiles that I see (as a therapist) don’t have trouble controlling themselves. They come into me having depression and anxiety, having difficulty living with the loneliness and the isolation that’s associated with it. They can’t tell their peers, their parents”
“There is no like, for like, where sexual abuse is more likely to beget sexual abuse. The pattern from the research and follow up studies is more aligned to chaotic childhoods creates chaotic adulthoods.”
Episode Highlights
Paedophilia/Child Molester definitions
● Dr Cantor clarifies that there is a distinct difference between a paedophile and a child molester despite regularly being used interchangeably in the mainstream media.
Do we avoid difficult conversations?
● We all discuss the unfortunate reality that many of us are hesitant to discuss certain issues with rigor and honesty in fear of being judged prematurely. This fear is stopping us collectively from making progress on crucial issues.
● Dr Cantor believes that this can be at least partially attributed to the lack of role models present for having a difficult yet necessary conversation.
What is our long term aim?
● Dr Cantor states that the present approach which makes it very difficult for paedophiles to access therapy, medication and a support network is NOT effective in preventing child molestation. He contends that if our true long-term aim it to prevent this, then we need to change how we look at the issue.
● He says we need to follow the extensive research on the matter over our strong emotional relationship to the issue.
Not all Child Molesters are Pedophiles
● Following up on what our former guest Dr Marie Keenan stated, Dr Cantor has reminded us that not all child molesters are paedophiles. He states that roughly 2/3 of child molesters are not actually paedophiles, they are actually more attracted to adults.
● This may seem surprising but as Dr Marie Keenan has said before, sexual assault is often about power than the sex itself. This fact will hopefully help more of us expand our perspective of how we treat paedophiles.
The Reality for non-offending Pedophiles
● Dr Cantor explains that the overwhelming majority of paedophiles that he sees as a therapist have no difficulty in controlling their sexual urges. They do however express a longing for connection; they are depressed and anxious as they can’t be honest about themselves with the people closest to them.
● This is why Dr Cantor recommends a website for people with this sexual orientation where they can communicate with people in a similar position. This is also why Dr James encourages the general public who do not have this orientation to understand that these people did not ask for this brain functioning and that the vast majority will never act on their sexual attraction towards children.
Enjoy this Podcast?
It is important for us to state that we know this is a very sensitive topic which deserves extreme care. This is why we felt it was necessary to talk to one of the leading experts in the field to shine some light on the science on paedophilia and how we can use this information to minimise the possibility of a child being sexually assaulted in the future. We understand that this podcast may have been tough to listen to in parts but we thank you for being open enough to learn about an area which is so clouded in misinformation. If you appreciate what we are trying to do with today’s episode and our overall project of The Earthly Delights Podcast, then hit subscribe and share it with your friends!
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To removing stigma,
Jim and Seb
